Events

While waiting for the class before me to let out, two guys sitting near me and I were intently watching a beetle scurry about in the middle of the hallway. As the untold multitudes of semi-educated persons left the classroom, we were all surprised when no one stepped anywhere near the critter. after about half of the ~300 people had left, we were all watching, jaws dropped, as the beetle managed to avoid foot after life-extinguishing foot, a ninja of the insect world, seemingly untouchable with its nigh precognitive dodging skill. He was scurrying in elaborate and increasingly frantic zig-zag patterns, several times coming so close to expiration that I was sure that I would be holding a tiny memorial service any moment. I swear I saw him backflip over a croc and then wall run along a sketcher, acrobatic feats worthy of a bug with Jackie Chan like agility. Just when it seemed that his survival was assured... disaster approached in the form of a vile, murderous witch of a girl. Just to glance upon her despicable cell-phone-holding form was to glimpse into the depths of hades itself. She shook the very earth beneath her with her pachyderm-esque gait... rather than walk in a straight line, she tap danced in a sweeping pattern from left to right, occasionally hopping in place or backtracking, seemingly intent on crushing anything and everything before her into utter oblivion. As the destroyer drew closer, I glanced in trepidation at the ninja bug, fearful that he had finally met his match. He tried to dash left, with no success. He juked right, but the girl trod onwards, seemingly taking no heed of his spirited evasive maneuver. In desperation, he tried to ricochet his tiny form off the floor and into the air, to avoid the deadly co-ed... but instead sprained a limb due to the complexity of the daring move. As he lay motionless on the floor, It became clear to both of us that his fate was sealed, that there was no escape from the menace that drew ever nearer. I made eye contact with the brave, stoic beast, and nodded a final farewell, just as the demonic presence clad in Uggs put out the spark of his valiant life.

Bug-from-the-hallway-of-Hale... You will be missed.

By the way, there MAY have been some slight elaboration. I'm avoiding homework. sue me.